So much for my resolution to blog faithfully. I just don't know how some people do it. I'm guessing most of them don't have four kids.
Ever seen someone post something on a loop and that post should have been private?
Yeah. Me, too.
I can't say I've ever made such a blunder, but I'm amazed and embarrassed for the posters who have done that.
Just this last week a lady made some comments that were...well, I couldn't believe what she said. The saddest thing is that even though she apologized and excused her words as her "dark sense of humor," I can't stop thinking that underneath her attempt at humor was her honest feelings. And those feelings came across to me as bitter and jealous.
As a struggling unpublished writer, I often deal with jealous twinges when I head of another writer's success in winning a contest, securing an agent, or selling her ms. But those feelings don't usually come when (IMHO) the work deserves the laud and success. No, only when I'm not impressed with the writing does jealousy snuggle up in the chair of my heart.
What scares me is moving from twinges of jealousy to stings of bitterness. I don't want to be bitter that I can't seem to get ahead in my writing. I don't want to become consumed with belittling another writer's work, comments, or career just because it makes me feel better about me. Or for any other reason.
Last week over at romancingtheblog, one of the male bloggers made some comments about women writers. Well, I have to say I agreed with most of his comments and laughed at more than a few of them because they were so true. Women can be vicious and vindictive, and often I think that comes from allowing those twinges of jealousy to turn into stings of bitterness.
A couple of days ago, I got to reading my latest issue of Entertainment Weekly. There's an interesting review near the end of the mag of a nonfiction book: Self-Made Man by Norah Vincent.
Journalist, lesbian, and self-described "masculine woman," Ms. Vincent decided to go undercover for 18-months as a man. Yeah. What I found interesting was one of the revelations she made (quoted in the review).
She says that "single American woman can be bitter, angry, boring, and maddeningly smug about their emotional superiority. 'Dating women as a man...made me, of all things, into a momentary misogynist. I saw my own sex from the other side, and I disliked women irrationally.'"
What's sad is that I'm sure her view is pretty accurate...of some women. I've read posts from fellow female writers on the different loops I belong to, and I'm embarrassed at how petty, vindictive, and bitter these women are. One woman (in response to the article that the male blogger wrote on romancing the blog and to the comments I and several other ladies said in response) said that she dislike kiss-ups.
Well, I'm just wondering if she's one of those people who is so bitter that she can't distinguish a truly sincere compliment from a butt-kissing. Why can't some people believe that some people are actually nice just for the sake of being nice?
I'd hate to become so cynical that I was constantly suspicious of everyone's actions and compliments. Or is it cynicism or personal insecurity?
I like being nice for the sake of being nice.
I like complimenting people.
And if anyone thinks that my nice words and compliments means I'm being a kiss-up, then I want you to know that I don't give a fig what you and your petty, vindictive, bitter, angry, boring, and maddeningly smug attitude thinks about me. Grow up and get a life...and while you're at it, get Extreme Attitude Makeover.
Don't spew, be happy.