I was always pretty sure that the opposite of love is hate.
That made me feel okay becuase I didn't hate anyone...most of the time.
Then one night, guy in my class who had tried to be my friend took his own life.
Then I realized the oppositive of love is not hate.
It's apathy.
To not love someone is as simple as ignoring them, as treating them like a non-person.
It's like sitting next to someone in class and having no more feeling for him than you do for the chair he's sitting in.
~*~
I found that "poem" in my old high school scrapbook. Not sure how much of an impact it made on my life because I can think of several people who tried to be my friend when I was in college and after yet I had no time for them.
I have four kids under the age of 12.
My life is taking care of them and my husband.
But my entire life isn't consumed with taking care of them. I have moments when I could reach out to other people and invest in their lives to let them know that someone thinks they have value. How much, though, is enough? Then again, if I ask myself how much is enough, then am I really investing in someone's life or am I don't doing nice things because it makes me look good?
I don't really think I hate anyone.
I don't.
I do spend more time surfing the internet instead of writing a letter or calling a friend to let her know that I'm sorry about the hell that she's experiencing.
I am apathetic, and I'm not sure how to change. Because what will changing cost me?
