It's about time...

Seems like forever since I ranted about a book I've read.

Well, if you're itchin' to hear me rant, then today's your lucky day. (Don't say I don't ever think about other people.)

Since school is out (bummer), I decided I'd spend some time during the break reading. Actually I started a few days before the break 'cause I was bored and nothing was on tv. I headed on down to my local library, which, might I add, looks nothing like a library. I'm guessing they figured all the rich people who live in the Twin Hickory area needed something that looked more like a cafe' on steroids than an actually educational-looking building for them to go there. Needless to say, their plan worked. The place is always busy.

Well, busy if busy counts as "thirty to forty cars in the parking lot." Sometimes a bike too.

My oldest son's high school is right next door to the library. (Apply library-decor comments to high school.)

Anyhoo, I checked out a plethora of books. And since we both really are only reading to here me say something snarky about the books, then lets get to the blood-letting....

The Fitzwilliam Darcy Trilogy by Pamela Aidan
I only read book one and three because book two didn't look interesting enough and the first two pages didn't entice me enough to change my mind. Overall, I'll give them a A-. My only problem is I kept wanting to have Elizabeth's POV mixed in with Darcy's. Guess that's the romance reader in me. One thing I realized as I read them was how wordy and "telling" Jane Austen was.

Now I came across another author who's written a "sequel" to Pride and Prejudice. It's called Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife, and apparentely he "takes" her quite often in the book. Call me crazy, but I like my books to be a bit more plotty and far less slutty.

two Christmas 2008 releases by two best-selling romance/women's fiction authors
Overall, I'll give book 1 a B- and book 2 a C-.

Book 1 was a historical romance written by Linda Lael Miller . The hero and heroine are trapped together by an act of nature. Other than dealing with the physical situation they're in, nothing really happens. He thinks she cares to much for riches and society to marry a poor country doctor. She thinks because he grew up in a wealthy, society-obsessed home, he couldn't love a country bumpkin like her. While the story seemed a forced attempted to create a "Christmas love story," if you don't like graphic sex scenes carrying the weight of the story, then you should enjoy this one. No sex scenes.

Oh, let me say as a reader and a writer, one thing I noticed--and was quite annoyed by--was Ms. Miller's sticking the POV character's thoughts in between another character's dialogue.

"You're insane if you go outside," Tom said as he grabbed her gloves. Susy noted his pinched lips and knew now was not the time to argue with this stubborn man. "If you try to leave again, I'll give you some laudanum in my doctor's bag."

Suzy smiled weakly. She sat next to the children. "Ai ai, captain."

Time and time again, as I read the novel, I kept assigning the last dialogue in the first paragraph to Suzy instead of Tom. (Side note, these are not the actual names of the characters in the novel.) Am I the only person annoyed when authors mix the POV character's thoughts in with another characters dialogue and action?

Book 2 was a contemporary romance written by Debby Macomber. I hope I spelled her name correctly. She's written a bajillion books. Some of them are amzing. This one wasn't. Other than the hero being utterly stupid...umm, misguided in his child-rearing beliefs, nothing really existed to keep the leads apart. Once the heroine showed him the error of his ways, he eventually realized she was right. I've yet to met a man who faced the utter folly of his life's work and overcame his humiliation and stupidity as quickly as this hero did.

Then again, it's a Christmas story. Miracles clearly do happen.

Plus, other than the fact the hero was misguided about his views on child-rearing, the man had no faults. One of my favorite aspects of a romance is wondering how a couple is going to overcome the internal and external obstacles keeping them apart so they can have a Happily Ever After. In this novel, the only thing keeping them apart was the hero's misguided child-rearing belief. Okay, I'm going in circles here...kinda like the story.

Anyway, decent story (no sex) filled with cliches and predictable twists. I'm guessing the author had a deadline because the publisher wanted to rush a Christmas story to the presses. I feel bad giving the story a C- because the author can really spin a yarn. Unfortunately, this yarn didn't keep me warm on a cold December night.

BTW, I read another "Christmas" story she'd written. Technically that's not accurate. I read the first two pages, found them insipid, turned to the last two pages, read them, and congratulated myself on not wasting time reading the story.

Let's see, what else have I read recently...

Oh, Georgette Heyer re-release that I didn't think I'd read before. And I still haven't. Couldn't get past the first couple pages. Don't think I should grade it considering I didn't read it. Then again. D for dull.

Two older Stephanie Laurens novels in large print. I like large print...mostly. Because the font is so large, one paragraph can take almost an entire page. That lends to a tedious reading. Both were relatively clean for a Stephanie Laurens novel. Shocking, I know. Her "sex" scenes were basically "he showed her rapturous delights." Major purple prose sex, which was tolerable actually. The first novel I'll give a B+, the second a D+. In the latter, the hero and heroine were both...let's just say not-compelling-enough-for-me-to-care-about-their-futures. I probably skimmed that novel as much as I read it. Rather stupid plot.

A novel I shall not tell you the title, the author, or the genre. D for disappointing. Making an unlikeable character likeable is a hefty task for any author. I tried to give the lead character a chance, but s/he was so self-absorbed that I couldn't get into reading, although I really really tried because I like the author and her pervious work(s).

What the romantic interest saw in the lead character other than physical attractiveness, I have no freakin' idea. Let's face it, what the romantic interest felt for the lead character was, pure and simple, lust. If the lead wasn't good looking, would the romantic interest have struggle with his/her attaction to the lead? I think not.

Anyhoo, after the dark moment, the lead realizes all the crap that's happened to him/her has been because of his/her own selfish choices. The lead decides to change, to be a different and better person. The lead accepts that s/he will never have a relationship with the romantic interest, so s/he decides to move on with his/her life.

So what does the lead do?

Realizes his/her best friend is pretty hot looking. Clearly the lead hasn't seen what's been in front of him/her all this time.

So what does the lead do?

Go after the best friend in the same manner that the lead had been going after the romantic interest.

Huh? Where's the self-enlightenment? Where's the demonstration that the lead character has grown and matured? After all the crap the lead went through, s/he ended up getting what s/he wanted from the beginning...and didn't deserve. Still didn't deserve at the end of the book. Which goes back to my earlier point: what did the romantic interest see in the main character other than an attractive face and hot body?

I have to say the lead in this novel was one of the most undeserving characters to be elevated to lead status.

Finally, on to the last book I read.

Charley's Web by Joy Fielding

Hubby had to go to Taco Bell for dinner last night because I refused to stop reading until I finished the book. At one point, I told my oldest son, "I've read 294 pages since lunch, and of those 294, I've actually read 288. When was the last time I read so many pages of a book?" He was too stunned to answer.

Once it came out about 2/3rds into the book that the "villain" had an accomplice, I figured it was who it actually turned out to be. Did that stop me from reading? No!!! I couldn't stop reading until I'd proved my guess correct.

Disgusting subject matter, but fortunately Ms. Fielding wasn't too graphic to the point of making me close the book.

While I would have liked to have seen more of one particular secondary character, I understand why he wasn't layered in more. The story wasn't a romance. It was a women's fiction with suspense and romantic elements. Great use of a dog.