WHY GOD MADE MOMS

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

My Little SnowGirl

I freely admit I don't like snow. Not at all. But I was feely a tad sad for my kids that we hadn't had any snow this winter. So last week I commented to a friend, "I wouldn't mind two days of snow before spring comes."

Waa Laa!

God sent us snow.

Church activities were cancelled Sunday night. No school on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday. Today the kids went back to school, but it was a two-hour delay. When I woke Rhyinn (my kindergartener) up, she said, "But this isn't when I go to school. It's sun-shiny outside."

Anyhoo, yesterday hubby built her a snow girl after two days of Rhyinn asking me, "Daddy, will you build a snowman with me?" Finally got her done and Rhyinn was so proud! (The girl in purple is Maggie, our neighbor who donated the hat and scarf.)

Three Men and a River

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging,violent river.

Needing to get to the other side,the first man prayed: 'God, please give me the strength to cross the river.'

Poof! . . .

God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that,the second man prayed: 'God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river.'

Poof! . . .

God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men,the third man prayed: 'God, Please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river.'

Poof! . . .

He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up the stream and walked across the bridge.

This came through on one of my writing lists and I thought I'd share...

~*~

Here is the email from Rhonda Penders, founder of The Wild Rose Press:

My lovely Roses,

I am so excited to come here today and make this announcement.

As you know it is March 1 which means it is White Rose Month. White Rose is our inspirational romance line.

What you don't know, is that behind the scenes the past couple of weeks we have been working very hard to launch a new venture here at TWRP and this morning I am honored to announce that we have opened a second company.

White Rose Publishing (www.whiterosepublishing.com) is open for business as of this morning. This is a Christian romance bookstore and web site. We will sell only inspirational romances and yes our White Rose authors will all be moving over there.

Over the course of the next month, we will slowly phase our the inspirational line here at TWRP. When anyone clicks on the line on our site they will be redirected to White Rose Publishing. This new venture will be run by Nicke Martinez and her team of White Rose editors, but will still be very much under the umbrella of The Wild Rose Press.

Please visit our new site; thanks to the talents of our very own RJ Morris and Nicke Martinez who have worked day and night it is up and running this morning. Can't promise no glitches or areas that still need changing but for the most part you will find our authors and books have been copied over to this site and its open for business.

Queries that used to go to queryus@thewildrosepress.com can still go there and will be redirected but the better route will be to query at queryus@whiterosepublishing.com.

For all of you White Rose authors - please check your offerings on the new site and make sure its in the right category. If it isn't, please contact Nicke Martinez at nmartinez@whiterosepublishing.com.

I'm more than happy to answer questions, field concerns, etc. I'm around off and on all day today. rpenders@thewildrosepress.com.

This is HUGE to us and very exciting and I hope you join me in offering your congratulations to the hard work of Nicke Martinez who really is the driving force behind this.

Happy March Roses.

Rhonda Penders